u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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