yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
