Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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