Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
