You just made me feel so damn special
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Slut skills are useful in every country.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
