I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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