idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
