At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
