I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The adults are the big ones right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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