We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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