I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
