my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
