Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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