The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
