how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
