So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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