What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
