There is no way he is gay with that hair.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
