i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
