two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
