I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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