my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
