Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
