I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
