I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
