I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
