JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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