1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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