when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
