ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
my liver is dry heaving
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
