We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
