Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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