i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
