it's too hot outside to masturbate.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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