I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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