I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
