while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
