Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
