He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
