But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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