I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
