Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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