I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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