Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
