Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
