I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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