We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
