With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
