Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
