Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
