well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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