I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
